The Grimoire

Womb of the Heart

An Invitation into Profound Honesty

*Beloved Guardians, heart to heart, womb to womb

Here we are, in the opening to the Mother guide. The finger pointing to the moon, but not the moon itself. The spoon stirring the cauldron, but not the soup.

I am realising that to truly hold a gateway, an individual session is needed: one session beforehand, and messages throughout, so that we feel together and in coherence, and so there is support in how to truly read the energy, and to understand, from another perspective, the sensitivity this work entails. This is the Wise Woman path, the path of the medicine woman, the guide and guardian of the gate. We are learning to remember that we are in constant relationship with life. It is a power spot, and a great deal of energy to hold and to navigate.

I understand that this was not part of the original agreement, so I will offer these sessions by conscious heart donation. It is not about the money, but about the exchange of energy. If it is not properly balanced, it will tip into an imbalance that will need to "pay off" in the future, which I personally do not want to hold. I also invite Drea to share how it has been supporting her, and how we can sometimes not realise the immensity of Shakti we are working with in this kind of prayer.

I also feel there could be more reflection together about the content. Your questions are so welcome, truly. And to honour the time of all of us, I would love a space where we meet one on one for them when they are extensive, since I cannot always answer them here with the care they deserve. I am giving a great deal to this, and more than anything, I would love to hear from you.

As an example: How are you finding the new playlist? What about the mantra? What have you discovered through the practice? How is the activation of the energy translating into your everyday life? Is the overwhelm personal or collective? How do my ancestors speak through each gateway? Are you watching the videos? What are your reflections? I hold all of these, and I would so love to hear what is alive in you. I would rather meet you in what is true than guide the group from what I imagine. That is all I am asking: a little more of you, so we can walk in coherence together, and that you honour my time when you reach out.

And so, with love, I ask that we make a little more room for guidance.

For these questions to be answered, the work is yours to do. Return to the content, again and again. It is all there: the prices, the information, the how, the who, made with great care to support you. Let it meet you first, where so much is already answered. And where it does not reach, honour my time and your own by calling in a session, even fifteen minutes, to bring your questions. This is far better than sitting in the shadow of not knowing, the fear of saying, or leading the group by assuming. Do the work, or come and ask. Either way, we meet in coherence rather than in confusion. And please, stay attentive to leaving room for me to offer guidance too. When there are many personal reflections at once, the message can get lost.

Working With Power

We are working with power. And power is Shakti, the living current of the Goddess herself. Shakti gives birth to duality, light and shadow rising in the same breath. We, as women, carry a seed of that light in the womb.

To hold a seed like this, as the feminine, we go together. Together we move through the layers, hierarchy, manipulation, the influence of spirit that has not yet come home (the shadows of the 3rd GW), so that the energy of the guide can be gathered and brought into the light of the heart, the womb of the heart. Rather than bypassing what is hard, we pass through it, hand in hand.

This is tender, and it is meant to be. There must be a space where the shadow can be named, gently and clearly, so we can see the trigger that holds us in a contracted form. Hear me beloveds: this is not about doing something wrong. There is no wrong here. It is about being humble enough to ask, and brave enough to be guided. Profound honesty is the only way through the Guardian portal.

So lets walk together through the map. Each gateway is an energy. Each energy carries its question. When we ask the question, we are not filling silence with words. We are tracing where the consciousness lives. The sharing stops being *I*. It becomes prayer.

The Guardian's Place: Receptive to the Gift

Here is something worth saying plainly, for the sake of the circle, not for the sake of any one of us in it.

The gateway you are given is not yours to generate. It is a gift, offered into your hands, and your place is to receive it, not to produce it. There is an active current that opens the transmission and lets it move through the map of the gateways, and for the span of this work, that current moves through me, not because I am more, but because the seat needs to be held by someone so the rest of us can stay in the receptive. You are the receptive. This is not a smaller place. The chalice is not less than the wine poured into it. But it is a different place, and the circle only holds when each of us stays in her own.

When a Guardian steps into the active seat, thinking she must generate, direct, correct, or fill what feels empty, the polarity collapses. You already know this key: do not try to flatten the polarity into harmony. Two poles, held apart and both honoured, is what lets Spanda, the third, arise. One pole trying to become both poles is not more devotion. It is where the imbalance begins.

Staying in the Witness

As you watch each woman move through her initiation, gateway by gateway, this is asked of you: stay in the witness. Not the fixer. Not the one who must know what it means. The witness.

This is, in truth, the Crone's seat, no matter which gateway is your own. Your personal gateway, the one entrusted to you, is the face the Great Mother wears in your lineage. But the moment you sit in circle and hold, you are standing in the dissolving light, whether your gateway is the Maiden or the Fire or the Water. To hold is to let yourself become the awareness in which the initiation arises, not the one steering it. The Crone does not fix what is dissolving. She witnesses it, and her witnessing is what lets the dissolving complete itself.

How Projection Moves Here

This is also why projection lands on you the way it does. A woman in the circle will place upon you the role of mother, teacher, saviour, judge, the very roles you have been asked to lay down. This is not because you have done something wrong. It is because the receptive seat is, by its nature, the surface projection finds first.

The work is to receive the projection without becoming it. Not to correct her, not to perform the role she has cast you in, not to overstep into the active seat to prove the projection wrong. Simply notice it arising, hold it in awareness, and let it pass through the field rather than settle into your body as if it were true. This, too, is why the active seat needs to be held by someone: so the rest of us are free to stay in the witness without the field losing its shape. It is a function being carried, not a merit being claimed.

Further Threads for the Guardians

The Power of Attention

Here is a key that can guide this portal. Where attention goes, energy flows. Attention is Shakti given direction. It is a concentrated power you hold. The garden you water is the garden that grows. The wound you keep telling grows roots. The place you turn your inner eye toward comes alive, and the energy follows your looking the way water follows the channel it has carved.

A question can be a precise act of attention. It takes the light of awareness and sets it down exactly where the consciousness is hiding. Why am I contracted here? Who is this fear? What is asking to be seen? The moment the attention lands, the energy begins to move. What was frozen loosens. The asking is not a formality, rather, the asking IS the medicine.

The questioning is not to recount your experience, but to inquire into it. Why? Who? What? How? Bring the attention home, off the surface and into the body, into the gateway itself. Where the attention goes, the energy will follow, and the structure will open.

The Triangle: The Three Lights

Gateway 1 — The Maiden, the Ascending Light

The energy of creating, of new beginning, of expanding and opening.

What is brand new in me? What is beginning? What is asking to be born?

And here is the Maiden's shadow, the one I feel most among us now. Her mirror is bright but untested. She trusts her reflection so completely that she does not yet think to question it. So instead of asking, she shares. The stories come, the experiences, beautiful and sacred, and still they turn our attention away from the gateway. The Maiden does not yet know that the mirror IS consciousness. To grow, she lets the question take the place of the performance. Not "let me tell you what happened to me," but why? who? what? how? This is the first humbling. This is where the portal opens.

Gateway 2 — The Mother and Lover, the Sustaining Light

The seed has risen. Now we meet what holds it.

What am I sustaining? Who am I nurturing? What in my life am I tending, feeding, making love to?

We Sustain Here

There are deeper metaphysical principles to be shared. First we sustain here. This is the Mother's own work, the sustaining light: not to rush ahead, but to deepen the ground beneath us. We build a true coherence together, in honesty, in the asking, until it is strong enough to hold what comes next. Only coherent ground can carry the deeper teaching.

When we do not ask, we transmit our I don't know into the field. When we ask, the structure opens. The trigger that held us in contraction is finally seen, and what is seen begins to loosen. This feeling of exposure is being met.

Gateway 3 — The Crone, the Dissolving Light

What is sustained must one day be released.

What is ready to die? What identity am I being asked to lay down? Which inherited belief, with its beginning, its middle, and its end, is loosening its grip?

And here is the Crone's shadow, alive now as we move through the third year. The Crone asks the ego to die, and the ego does not go quietly. When it grows too tender to be touched, too sensitive to be guided, it reads every reflection as an attack and every question as a wound. Then the guide can no longer guide. Nothing is allowed to land. And the dissolving light, which needs an opening to do its work, finds none. The space goes stagnant. This is not weakness and it is not wrong. It is the shadow, the ego defending the very identity it came here to lay down. To pass the third gateway is to let ourselves be guided, even where it touches the place that does not want to be seen.

So the Triangle turns. The seed rises, the fruit ripens, the lining sheds. Sristi, sthiti, samhara. One full breath of the Goddess, traced before we ever leave the Yoni Temple.

The Cross: The Four Elements

Gateway 4 — Earth, South, the Base of the Sacrum

The ground of the ancestors.

What am I carrying that was never mine? Whose grief, whose fear, whose scarcity lives in this body? Where do I refuse to be supported, or refuse to take up space? Who takes up too much space?

We must learn to listen. The nuances live within the subtle, and your feet need to be replanted on the earth. Here there is a need to humble yourself into the one who listens. The older the energy, the more patience it requires. The ancestors speak through silence, not through an endless need for validation. That is the child, the one who still needs to learn how to listen and be guided.

Walk on the earth. Quiet the one who interprets, the one who knows, the one who observes, and be humble, a word that comes from humus, the earth itself.

A practice. Take off your shoes if you can. Stand, and let the ground take your weight. Soften the knees, the belly, the jaw. Breathe down into your feet until you feel held. Then ask, without words: Grandmothers, what do you wish to say? Do not answer for them. Do not fill the silence. Stay until something is felt, a warmth, a heaviness, a knowing, or until nothing comes, and let that be enough too. The ancestors speak slowly. The listening is the prayer.

Gateway 5 — Fire, West, the Right Ovary

The creative heat.

Where is my fire? What am I burning for? What raw longing wants to be forged into living purpose, and what is ready to be consumed?

Here we must speak of the fire honestly, because it is the most misunderstood of all. The fire of the fifth gateway is sexual energy, the most creative and generative force a woman carries. It is not separate from the spiritual. We may transfigure them. To split them is the old wound. To marry them is the work.

This is the true meaning of brahmacharya. The word has been narrowed to mean celibacy, the denial of the body. But brahma-charya is "moving in Brahman," living in the Absolute. It is not the refusal of the fire. It is keeping Brahman at the core, the still centre around which the fire turns. When the Absolute is the centre, the energy is neither repressed nor spent carelessly. It is held, offered, and raised. Nothing is forbidden, and nothing is grasped.

This is transfiguration: we do not leave the body to reach the divine. We let the fire refine the body until the body itself becomes light, sama-rasa, a body filled with awareness, love, and radiance. The seed of the fire, conserved and turned upward, becomes ojas, the glow others feel from you before you have said a word.

Gateway 6 — Air, North, the Upper Womb

The gateway of individuation.

Who am I, beneath who I was told to be? Where do I end and another begin? What no, what yes, is mine to speak? Who am I?

Gateway 7 — Water, East, the Left Ovary

The dreaming gate.

What am I feeling beneath the story? What is the soul whispering under the sensation? What am I being asked to surrender, to taste, to trust?

The Centre

Gateway 8 — Sacred Union, the Heart of the Womb

Where Shakti rises and Shiva descends.

Here the questions fall silent. No more what. No more who. Only what remains.

I AM. Me. Here. Now.

The Power of the Word

The letters themselves are matrikas, the little mothers, each one a feminine power that gives birth to a dimension of reality. When the Goddess speaks, the world comes into being. When you speak, you do the same thing in miniature. We are weaving.

A prayer weaves the opening it asks for. This is why we turn the sharing into prayer, because the word is a thread, and we are choosing what to weave.

Speech has four depths. It begins as silence, para. It becomes an inner seeing, pashyanti. It becomes inner song, madhyama. And only then does it reach the lips, vaikhari. A question spoken from the lips alone is thin. A question that has travelled all four depths, seen and felt before it is sounded, carries the whole weight of you. The word with power.

The Power of Perception

Attention is where you look. Perception is how you see, both physical and subtle. They can be seen as sisters, and the second is as creative as the first.

We do not see the world as it is. We see it as we are. The same moment is a wound to one woman and an initiation to another. The event does not decide this. The perception does. Perception is not a window we look through. It is a hand that shapes what it touches.

This is Jnana, the power of seeing, and it is fire. The tradition calls sight the subtle essence of the fire element, and the eyes the torches of tejas, the inner flame. To perceive is to cast light. Whatever you turn the light of your perception upon, you call into a particular life. Perceived as a problem, a woman becomes a problem. Perceived as consciousness arranging itself, she becomes a mystery you are allowed to witness.

So the guardian learns to see through the eye of the heart, not the eye of judgment. There are two ways of looking at everything: the eye that measures and finds wanting, and the eye that blesses. The shadow you perceive as shadow loosens. The shadow you perceive as who she is hardens into stone. What you behold as sacred becomes sacred in the room, because perception is participation.

And perception can be cleansed, and this is what we have been doing through the layers of immersion. Most of what we call seeing is only memory, the old samskara laid over the present like a film. To perceive freshly, without the past, is the Maiden's first seeing returned, the mirror that finally knows it is consciousness. This is the seeing the whole pilgrimage moves toward. Not new things to look at. New eyes.

How the Word Comes Into Alignment

Do you see it now? Each question is an instrument. The longing that moves you to ask is Iccha, the will, the first yes before the mind has words. The asking itself is Jnana, the seeing that reveals where the consciousness lives. And the word that forms from that seeing is Kriya, the action that brings the teaching down into the body and into the living.

This is how the word comes into alignment. A mind that asks truly. A voice that prays truly. A body that acts truly. Right thought, right speech, right action, the three made one. Body, speech, and mind no longer scattered, but gathered along the single axis from womb to heart.

Come, ask your questions. Watch the structure open through the gateways, through the language itself.

Beloved Divine Mother, hold us as we hold them.
Jai Ma.